it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
