I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
