Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
