I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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