oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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