i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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