saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she pinky promised me she was 18
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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