I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
