Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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