how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
home. puking in laundry basket.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
