So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
