it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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