walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
