I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
where are my eyebrows?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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