Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
