I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
