So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
