i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
