She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
