): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
