just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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