I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
