This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
