hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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