I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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