im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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