Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
