he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
