I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
