glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize