loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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