i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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