whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
