we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
