i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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