I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
