Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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