If i come over, it means nothing
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
