I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
