i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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