I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
