we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
