you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
