...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
