Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
