the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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