I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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