so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
