community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
