i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
