I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
